Silver Singles

“It is not good for man to be alone.” (Genesis 2:18)

I had sworn off the whole “online dating” thing. I wasn’t opposed to it based on philosophical objections. God can use that means as well as any. I had one month subscriptions to Match, Zoosk, and even Silver Singles. (Yes, that’s a real thing, for singles of a certain age.) I would try one service for a month, get frustrated and cancel, then try another service. It was a vicious cycle, absolutely ridiculous, and only led to frustration, at best, or bizarre episodes with unstable people, at worst. I just wanted to meet a nice sane woman who was passionate about her faith and passionate about me. Oh…I also was interested in someone who didn’t mind the idea of marrying a preacher (challenge 1) or living in a church owned parsonage (challenge 2). Beyond these, I selfishly hoped for a woman who was fair of form and countenance. I’m not asking much, right?

My children, other members of my family, and friends were all affirming that they wanted me to find love again. “You’re a great guy, Wes,” they encouraged. “Love will find you!” they exhorted. “Just don’t settle,” they warned. Inwardly, though, I pondered the possibility that I might need to prepare for life as a bachelor, at least for the foreseeable future. It was about that time I was sharing these sentiments with a female cousin, who is also single (here’s your credit, Louise). I told her I had been listening to online lectures by a well known psychologist and professor named Jordan Peterson. If you haven’t heard his material, I highly encourage you to do so; he’s brilliant. At any rate, I was sharing a quote Peterson mentioned from Carl Jung; “That which we need the most will be found where we least want to look.” Since Louise is working on her master’s degree in psychology, I thought I would give her a quick practicum. I asked her, based on what she knows of me, where would I least want to look for what I most wanted to find. Without a hitch, she responded, “E-Harmony!” I laughed it off…at first, but the idea hung around my brain for a while. What could one more round hurt? Eventually, I decided to spring for the subscription (not cheap) and spent two hours answering automated questions. I selected the more flattering of my photos and braced myself for disappointment.

About a week into the process, I sent a greeting to a lady who caught my attention. Her profile mentioned her commitment to Christ, and she described herself as a “conflicted hippie.” She responded, and we started a conversation. This progressed, as designed, to exchanging phone numbers. At that point, I had a realization. I had contacted this same woman when I had a subscription to Silver Singles. The conversation on the former service went something like this:

Me: How’s your day?

Her: I’m good, you?

Me: I’m great. I like what I read in your profile.

Her: (string of emojis, with no words)

Me: Ahh, you’re one who uses pictographs. I don’t speak emoji, so let me get my hieroglyph dictionary.

Her: (more emojis)

Me: What do I have to do to have a substantial conversation with you?

Her: (silence)

If memory serves, this is the point where I cancelled my Silver Singles account. Now, here she was again. Should I mention to her the former fiasco? Should I stay silent? I didn’t have to choose because she brought it up in our first phone conversation. “Do you remember when we first met?” Oh well, I best be honest. “Yes, I do! It didn’t go very well, did it?” We both laughed nervously. “I thought you were a bit arrogant,” she said. I let her know she wasn’t the first person to reach that conclusion. Then I explained my rationale for preferring words over emojis, but the little images could enhance the raw text. “Uh huh,” she said, coolly. She was taking me to task, but she wasn’t brushing me off, so I might as well continue. We kept the conversation going, this time actually getting to know each other. The next night we talked again, and the next, and the next. Our conversations have never ended before midnight, and frequently last until the wee hours.

Now, Patti and I have been dating regularly and frequently. I’ve been mesmerized to hear of her early childhood in Cuba, her parents coming to the United States to escape Castro and communism. I honestly never thought I could be so captivated by someone who spent most of her life in California. (That’s also somewhere I might least want to look.) Through a series of unpleasant circumstances, she ended up in Georgetown, Texas, with most of her family. We have realized there is an air of “divine conspiracy” about the whole affair. All in all, I’m still not a raving fan of online dating services, but I do feel I owe a tip-of-the-hat to Louise, E-Harmony, and yes, even Silver Singles.

Published in: on November 4, 2020 at 1:34 pm  Comments (3)  

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3 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Wow! I’m captivated by your story Wes! I would love to hear more about it. Very compelling!

  2. Loved reading more of your and Patti’s story. Divine conspiracy is a good way to put it. 😊
    I hope to meet her soon.


  3. Credit accepted!!! But most importantly so glad the two of you met. And again see how many good things come out of Cali!!!! 😀

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